27 December 2008

11. Be Aware, Read the Fine Print

I've done few things that have made me feel worried, really worried for my safety. Sure, I'm a total hypochondriac when it comes to my own health (see WebMD). I'm notorious for asking "What if?" given various scenarios and events. I am a semi-recovering nail biter. But when it comes to other people, I am trusting - rarely wary or quick to assume a person to be anything but well-intentioned. Because of this, I think I might be trusting to a fault, as it seems that I've gotten myself into a few hairy situations, including my most recent debacle online...

1. I've been threatened with identity theft. 

Apparently, during the job fair that scored me my teaching job in Baton Rouge, my social security number wasn't handled with tip top security and I was forced to place a flag on my credit report through Experian (keep this company in mind for later). Experian made me feel safe. Nothing ever seemed to happen with my precious identity. For all technical purposes, it's in tact, numbers safe and stable.

2. I've been asked to search for a bomb. Read mini-narrative below for details.

Unlocked and bare, without guards or censors or cameras, Southeast Middle stood a vulnerable smattering of blonde bricks. Theft: a cell phone, a pocketbook, a computer. Vandalism: a bathroom fire, a naughty drawing. Pot in a book bag as common as a pack of bubble gum. A knife. A pistol.

So, to safeguard against these security breaches, color codes were in place to signal how to proceed—whether or not to “lock down” the room, prepare for hurricane force winds, or ignore the violent thrashings of a psychic-ward-bound preteen just outside your door. 

“Code Red. That means we are on a lock down,” the intercom voice harked one morning. “Lock. Down. No one is to move from their location. Lock. Down.” The voice was breathy and shaky - different than routine fire drills or the daily pledge of allegiance. Had the Principal been running laps? Shaking children off his limbs? Holding back armed intruders?    

When the phone call came, I, like every other teacher, was eventually asked to escort my students into the gymnasium. But, unlike the others, I was also asked to leave my students and please follow the administration and police officers into the barren west wing of the building. I asked why the entire school was in the gym: "Ms. Field, a bomb threat has been phoned in. I asked again why the entire school was in the gym when bomb-threat protocol surely called for outside shelter, plenty of paces away from a potential structural annihilation: “It’s raining, Ms. Field. We can’t have 900 students standing in the rain.”  The logic didn’t satisfy me, but I was silenced.  I followed orders, unclear as to why I had been asked to leave my students alone. And when another twenty-something female teacher approached we were given our task casually and as routinely as if we’d been asked to add paper to the library printer.

“What you two are going to do is go from classroom to classroom and look for a bomb.” Blunt. Composed. Sterile.

“What!  Are you kidding?  What does a bomb look like?  And why are we the ones that should have to die looking for one?” Like a round of ammo, we spit-fired questions, convinced that they had the wrong duo and would humbly apologize while motioning for the police to take over.     

“Just look for anything suspicious. Cell phones. Look inside pen caps. Book sacks. Especially book sacks.” The two of us were still nervously laughing. “We picked you ladies because we thought you’d approach this calmly. Holler if anything looks fishy. We’ll be at the end of the hallway with the police officers.” I peered down the corridor at the supposed professionals who’d been called upon to help. Large and suited up for duty, the pair stood with their hands in their pockets, bellies up, and uninterested in assisting the two teachers called upon to assure safety and protection for the gym-ridden school.

“Can we look together or do we have to split up?” I asked as if I were a student, crossing her fingers that this particular assignment required partners. I asked because if I was going to explode I wasn’t doing it alone.

“I suppose you can go around together. Just be quick. And, when you give us the go-ahead, we’ll release everyone back to class.” The school was comprised of dozens of rooms one after another all filled with the chaos of education that may or may not have housed a bomb. In fear of full facial detonation I turned my scrunched up face to the side and used periphery vision to examine the student’s articles—poking and prodding like a picky eater to a vegetable-filled platter. But, when you're the teacher and not the student, hysteria is never encouraged to change your circumstances. So, my partner and I shut-up, shuffled through each room, and emerged with a weak confidence that the school would not blow up. 

It didn't. But I noted that caution may be used when approached by police and your boss.

3. I've been scammed online.

Never. Never. I'll repeat it again. Never request a free credit report because, of course, not much is ever really free. Well, it was free for a second, then my credit card started automatically paying a monthly bill of $12.75 then $14.75. Every month. Like clockwork. For over a year. And that adds up when you're a grad student.
You see, having been an almost-victim of identity theft, having become an involuntary bomb-searcher, I started to become a bit more attune to a dishonest, shady world. So when my utility provider questioned the strength of my credit, I logged onto freecreditreport.com to look at what was going on. I'd seen the snazzy commercials. I knew they were accredited by Experian and others. Why would I flinch when they asked for my credit card number so that they could do their job in helping me understand my credit score? I'm naive, yes, but I'm also an observer - a good reader. And no where on the website did I read that if I failed to "cancel" whatever service I had just unknowingly signed up for, my account would be charged every month. Like clockwork. Until I noticed. Which was over a year later. I assumed the semi-small amount on my monthly statement was related to my car insurance (the bill was from CIC Triple Advantage) - the name being foreign, sounding auto-ish to me and in no way indicating the words free, credit or report. So I let it slide thinking that I was getting a really nice motor club service that I happened to never use. And over the holidays, coming to the conclusion that poverty is the inevitable life of a grad student, I set out to cancel that pestering motor club from Allstate that I was never using, budget more strictly, cut unnecessary expenses.
When my agent said I wasn't paying for any such service. When I googled CIC Triple Advantage. When I realized hundreds of others have fallen into the same trap. I knew it. I'd been duped. I was a sucker. A poor, grad student, sucker with not much hope of a refund. Because the warning was there. I just didn't strain my eyes hard enough to see it.
Moral of the story: Read the fine print. Deceit just may be lurking in tiny font or under a pen cap, or inside a book bag. Call the Better Business Bureau when wronged. Learn from your middle school mistakes and trust sparingly.  

10. Reflect

How is it that I already feel behind in 2009 and I have yet to celebrate the new year? Maybe because I've neglected to blog for so long.  Maybe because it's time to plan for the summer, which is still 5 months away. Maybe because my professors have already sent out book lists. Regardless, time forges on, and a lot has happened education-wise that I haven't had the time to reflect on:

Biden, Obama, Duncan NYTimes

- Obama picked Arne Duncan to serve as Secretary of Education. As Chicago schools' superintendent, Duncan's style falls somewhere in between tradition and reform - supporting teachers' unions, while ousting ineffective teachers when necessary and implementing new reform platforms. Duncan, like most who have experience working in low-income school systems, believes that the achievement gap is the civil rights movement of our generation. He no doubt has a huge undertaking ahead of him, like reworking No Child Left Behind and ensuring that we begin quality education for the littlest students and continue placing the most effective teachers in classrooms. It's no surprise Obama picked Duncan, who appears to have the capability of mediating between different education camps rather than alienating one group and fostering division.

- Louisiana was called out for something POSITIVE related to education! The New Teacher Project, a certification program utilized heavily by Teach For America teachers, was commended for supporting educators who, in turn, prove more effective in classrooms (in Math, Reading and Language Arts) than teachers from traditional avenues with two or more years experience. Go TFA SLA!

the talented Dan Kahn, TFA South Louisiana '05

- A good friend, Dan Kahn, is shaking up Baton Rouge's youth community. Just named to Baton Rouge Business Report's Forty Under 40 list, he's gotten the recognition he deserves for beginning the Baton Rouge Youth Coalition (along with teaching and coaching and slamming poetry). BRYC is an incredibly innovative, yet totally necessary, movement to help the community's young people lead each other to financial literacy and stability so that their goals can be articulated and met. Alongside Kahn are '06 TFA alumni Sam Joel and Andy Gray. Their dedication to the Baton Rouge community is incredibly commendable.

- And because the beginning of a new year always spurs more personal reflection, I wonder how my former students are. I miss them. I love getting reports on A.H., a young man who had a rocky start to middle school and who is now thriving as an 8th grader and on the verge of being exited from special ed. I love knowing that A.K., a once slipping 6th grader, is walking confidently through the hallways of the very best magnet high school in Baton Rouge, no longer in need of special ed. services. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for those taking the 8th grade LEAP this spring!

17 November 2008

Obama and TFA

Wendy Kopp is apparently in the running for U.S. Education Secretary in the Obama administration.  What do you think?

See the news here.

13 November 2008

I heard the tail end of an interview with Nilaja' Sun on NPR today.  Sun, who taught in the Bronx for nine years, wrote and stars in the production NO CHILD, which embodies all facets of public school education (from teachers to students to janitors) and comments on the effects of NCLB.  See the trailer below...

12 November 2008

The (only) public high school in Ville Platte, Louisiana, may be forced to close its doors for good, as voters rejected a property tax increase that would have allowed for the rebuilding of the school. It is literally falling apart and needs serious renovation. If, in fact, the school shuts down, students will be dispersed to schools up to 30 miles away.  The Principal projects that many students might simply drop out instead of transferring.  It also so happens that the school is predominantly black, failing under NCLB and it has been suggested that white community members voted against rebuilding the school because they think its unfair to "pay for a school their children do not attend."

The NYTimes article (read it here) is written in true Buzz Bissinger fashion (read Friday Night Lights if you haven't) as it is told through the frame of the Ville Platte High School Bulldogs football season, giving the players a voice.  Bissinger may have been right when he compared Odessa, TX, to other pockets of small town America.  Do I see another football/education book in your future, Buzz? 

26 October 2008

On Monday, Jay Mathews from the Washington Post facilitated a live online discussion about D.C. Schools Chancellor, Michelle Rhee, who is also a TFA alum.  Check it out here.

24 October 2008

Palin in Pittsburgh


Sarah Palin was just outside of Pittsburgh this morning and spoke to an audience of invite-only guests about how a McCain/Palin administration would influence families with special needs children (her first policy-oriented speech so far).  She apparently didn't get the memo that a Pittsburgh-based writer (yours truly) is writing a book about Special Education and, thus, didn't put said writer on the invitation list.  I'll get over it.  Maybe.  But, clearly my phantom-book-that-might-take-yeeears-longer-than-this- MFA-program-to-finish is beside the point...

Palin promises to fully fund the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and redirect wasteful earmark spending to special needs funding.  The Washington Post noted that Palin's charge is inconsistent with McCain's past record in which he voted against fully funding IDEA among most other Special Education programs.  Salon.com pointed out that Palin's promise to fully fund IDEA contradicts McCain's latest and vigorously stated response to the current economic crisis: an "across-the-board spending freeze". Um, I'm confused.  Read the entire 20 minute talk here.

The New York Times also covered Palin's talk and included that her special needs funding would be exempt from McCain's spending freeze and that disabled students would be allowed (using state money) to choose to attend the private/parochial school of their choice when "our public school system fails..."  Others, including the current case law, argue that we must allow the public school system to attempt to educate these students, and if that education is deemed inappropriate the public-school-in-question must pay for student to attend private school.  Approx. 7 million students receive special education services, and according to Palin's plan, all of them could switch over to private/parochial schools if the public schools "fail".  Palin, I hate to break it to you, but our public schools have failed - all students.  What happens when "regular" education students and parents demand to switch to a private school?  Are we promoting the abandonment and eradication of the public school system instead of fixing it?  What are private schools doing better than public schools in terms of educating special needs students?  Why don't we adopt those strategies in our public schools and keep our children there?  I have so many questions.  I think I'll hold my breath until Nov. 4 to decide whether or not I need to air them and demand clearer answers...

23 October 2008

9. Resist Immunity to Standardized Tests...

  

The College Board has invented yet another standardized test. It is the younger sibling of the SAT - a so-called "low stakes" assessment for 8th graders that will spit out a number. In turn, this number will inform parents and teachers whether or not students are "on track" with the skills necessary to graduate high school and competitively enter college (i.e. Is your student on track to produce an appropriate number which, in turn, will qualify him or her for higher education?). (Read the entire article from the NYTimes here) Don't get me wrong - I think diagnostic/benchmark testing is incredibly useful for strategic lesson planning and for informing necessary remediation.  But, what happens when teachers don't know how or just don't use these tests to better their instruction?  What happens when the medicine we're administering isn't being swallowed or followed up by a professional?

I'm starting to think the administering of standardized tests is becoming a lot like the administering of antibiotics.  A lot of antibiotics.  All the time.  What happens when a child continuously takes Penicillin for ear infections and the infection is never quite killed?  The infection starts to grow stronger and the body become resistant to the medicine.  What happens when a child week after week fills in bubbles with his number 2 pencil on his Scantron sheet?  What happens when we prescribe standardized tests to heal our broken school system (please see No Child Left Behind)?  Our students start to resist them, resent them and become immune to them.  So, when a sixth grader takes a standardized test weekly rather than yearly (because her school is in decline and forced to show adequate yearly progress), she freezes and/or becomes conditioned to the sheet of bubbles and her number 2 pencil.  And, when "high stakes" tests finally arrive (see Louisiana's 4th/8th grade LEAP exam that prevents students from promotion to the next grade and the SAT, ACT and all other high school exit exams...) she fills in bubbles and puts her head down because that's how she's learned to handle this medicine that is tiring her and not healing her.

I have a question.  And, I'm proposing that those interested in answering this question respond directly here...

HOW DO/HAVE YOUR STUDENTS PHYSICALLY RESPONDED TO STANDARDIZED TESTS?

22 October 2008

Geauxbama, Gumbobama

Because teaching for me is so closely intertwined with South Louisiana washboard-spooning-fiddle plucking-crawfish boiling-two stepping culture. And because there are thirteen days left until the election. Here is a phenomenal video featuring Red Stick Ramblers' own Linzay among other fixtures in the Cajun/Creole music arena. And see the washboard player? C and I once asked him for directions in Lafayette, LA, thinking he was just a friendly Joe Six Pack in our beloved Red state. He pointed us to Grant St. Dance Hall where he later proceeded to hop on stage and go to town on that aluminum that drapes his chest. Here he joins other community musicians who support Obama in a place no one is allowed to call anything but pro-America.
I miss Louisiana...

19 October 2008

The Evolution of Teach For America


U.S. News & World Report published an article this week that emphasizes TFA alumni impact, particularly in the D.C. public school system.  Read the whole thing here.

16 October 2008

Michelle Obama in Pittsburgh

Today, in an auditorium on Pitt's campus, I was present for my first political rally during this 2008 Presidential Election season. And in that auditorium, the atmosphere was upbeat, positive - electric, even. Not once did someone boo (not once) or shout "kill him" or "terrorist" in reference to Senator McCain. There was no hostility present in the room whatsoever. And, I think that says tremendous things about the overall demeanor of Obama's campaign. Michelle Obama gave a speech that clearly articulated her husband's plan, his background and his vision. She didn't slam McCain. She didn't rile up the crowd with negative energy. She didn't have to. Her words dripped with depth and positivity and sincerity. And I so very much appreciated being a part of the invigorating yet calm environment she created at today's rally.

And just for fun, here are some notable fashion statements at today's rally...
 

And, just because this blows my mind...

We wonder why people believe these things:


And are reminded that people like this man exist in our radios:

11 October 2008

Obama & McCain: On Education...

For some reason, I occasionally receive emails from the NEA.  Usually, I just delete them.  But, I thought I'd take a gander at the research they've pulled together to differentiate Obama and McCain on issues related to education.


Here are some of the biggies:


 - Increase Student Aid 

for college (Pell Grants)

Obama Supports

McCain Opposes


- Increase Federal

Education Funding  

Obama Supports  

McCain Opposed bills to 

increase funding - says he supports adequate funding


- No Child Left Behind  

Obama - Overhaul  

McCain - Tweak


- Reduce class sizes  

Obama Supports  

McCain Opposes


- Expand early childhood

education  

Obama Supports  

McCain Opposes expansion,  

supports better coordination


Colbert on Education

Once upon a time, The Colbert Report featured Wendy Kopp (founder of Teach For America).  Stephen is unusually docile and actually lets Kopp get through a complete thought.  The best part?  She calls out a fellow South Louisiana corps member...



And just the other night, Stephen interviewed former TFA corps member and co-founder of KIPP (Knowledge is Power Program) schools, Dave Levin.  KIPP, a public-charter hybrid, is revolutionizing the way we support and educate urban students.  




24 September 2008

Cupcake Week


One of the most glorious parts of my neighborhood, Squirrel Hill, is Dozen, the local cupcake shack.  And, one of the most glorious parts of Dozen is Cupcake Week, which happens to be this week.  Wednesday is $1 cupcake day, so Charles and I feasted on an after-lunch dessert of one dark chocolate cupcake (mine) and one root beer cupcake (his).  Charles swears he can taste the fizz of the root beer.  I am too busy inhaling mine to talk out any interesting nuances or hidden ingredients of this chocolaty goodness.  So, we are full.  And happy.  And we are reminded that some things about Pittsburgh taste really, really good.

23 September 2008

Sex Education


"You can't get pregnant unless you like both go at the same time..."  

This was a phrase Charles heard frequently as a teacher in an all girls high school.  Word of mouth became the primary source of sex education for his students.  Their public-schooling had preached to them nothing but abstinence.  So, they turned to each other, believed their boyfriends and operated under completely ridiculous assumptions.  It was no wonder he watched his young freshmen drop out to raise the children they never planned to conceive.  Frequently, he'd confiscate a pregnant student's liter of soda and explain that large amounts of caffeine is unhealthy during pregnancy.  Most of his students did not behave out of rebellion - they were literally never educated, given alternative contraceptive options (besides abstinence), and once they did become pregnant they were never taught the safest and healthiest ways to carry a child to term.

Ann Fessler, author of The Girls Who Went Away, compiles dozens and dozens of interviews with women who conceived during the 50s and 60s - the pre-Roe v. Wade era.  It was startling how similar their stories were to one another - although most were raised in nice, suburban, affluent homes, these girls were never given access to contraception or vital sex education.  They were told to resist their boyfriends' passes, yet when he wouldn't relent and she wound up pregnant, she was the one that carried the massive shame, was ushered in secrecy to a home for unwed mothers (or forced to marry) and strongly encouraged to surrender her baby to adoption.  Most of these women were traumatized for the remainder of their lives, having relinquished a child, as they were told they were unfit for motherhood and would bring even more shame to their family if they kept their baby.  

Fessler (an adoptee) is currently working on a documentary film version of her book and spoke on Pitt's campus Monday.  She also visited my literature class yesterday, and I so very much admire and applaud her efforts to give these women voice, as most have felt forced to keep their "shameful" past a secret.  

However, while Fessler reports on a different era - an era that made birth control virtually impossible to receive and watered down sex education - she emphasizes the fact that we (as a nation) still have a long way to go.  Abstinence only sex education is centered around a myth that young people will follow this suggestion.  Some do.  But 45% of teens under 18 have already had sex - and what happens when they don't know their options? Unplanned pregnancies.  The current administration is proposing a bill that would allow any health care provider, pharmacist, nurse, etc. to refuse to assist with any medical service he or she finds objectionable (see Hillary Clinton and Cecile Richard's Op-Ed).  This ranges from prescribing a monthly packet of birth control pills to performing an abortion.  It is already standard that a doctor can choose not to perform an abortion.  This law would take women's choices and stigmatize them further - equating birth control with abortion.  And, because not all "objectionable" services are clearly defined under this law, any medical professional would have the ability to deny any form of treatment or medication that went against their personal morals or beliefs.  Where do you draw the line?

Having witnessed the consequences of what happens when young girls (and boys for that matter) are not properly educated and given choices (whether that be abstinence or birth control), I'm fearful of reverting even further back toward the days of pre-Roe v. Wade.  In my opinion, we still have quite a long way to go and stepping backwards by allowing women to feel shameful and stigmatized for asking for birth control pills seems to move us in the wrong direction.  Unplanned pregnancy is clearly a traumatic experience (whether the next step involves abortion, adoption or early motherhood) - so why aren't we equipping our young people with education and contraceptive options that would no doubt help parents enter into parenthood when they plan to? 


20 September 2008

8. Dance Like Your Pants Are On Fire...

After stuffing ourselves with Cevapi (pronounced chew-op-ay), garlicky Croatian sausages topped with raw onion on warm pita, we stared into the glass paneling of the member's only club.  Michelle, my full blooded Serbian-Croatian friend, came to Pittsburgh this weekend and aroused the one-eighth Croatian in me.  After conversing with the Euro-Mart cook earlier in a language incomprehensible to me, we stood outside Javor's Croatian Club on Pittsburgh's North Side and waited for someone to grant our entry inside.  We felt (and looked) like naive younger siblings of high schoolers as we tried to achieve entry into the weekend's exclusive party with beer and no parents.  Only this weekend, we were twenty-something, and our high school role models were really fifty, balding, Croatian and drank their beer generously and legally.  We took seats toward the door and tried to advert our eyes to the awkward glances we received from the regulars who wondered how we washed up on their private, Croatian shore.  And, of course, no awkward private party would be complete without live accordion-infused music and unintentional dancing.  

After an hour of uncomfortable gazing at the regulars, we were finally approached by a tall, white-haired and self-labeled German-Austrian and a pocket-sized Indian man, both who prided themselves on frequenting every ethnic music/dance hall around the city.  Upon learning that Michelle was familiar with traditional circular Croatian dance, they petitioned the band to pep up the tempo so we could "clear the cobwebs" from the dance floor.  And so as Michelle immediately blended in, Charles and I held hands, circled up and faked fancy footwork (painfully) as the regulars silently felt just as embarrassed for us as we did for ourselves.  

This weekend, I was reminded of how awkward it is to be conscious of the eyes that witness sloppy dancing.  And I wished that I could have adopted the innocence of my favorite middle school dancer of all...

                                      #  #  #

They swarm around him in a wide and powerful sphere.  A.’s forehead breeds small pools of smelly perspiration.  His body jolts like a rusty robot getting used to his hinges after a winter in the attic.  His usual pale cheeks scream emergency red.

“Should I save him?” I ask the teachers beside me.  We stand atop the bleachers and watch our students morph into humans.  They untuck their uniform polo shirts.  Some have even surrendered their belts.  This is against the rules, but they are happy and that is okay.  I envy the way they move—ratcheting and laffy taffying. 

“He’s fine.  He’s having fun.  Just leave him alone.”  I purse my lips together and dimple the creases of my mouth.  I worry about him like I worry about my grandmother.  Maybe he’ll have a stroke.  Or a heart attack.  Or maybe he’ll just drop dead.  But, more than fatal illnesses, I worry that they will laugh and that I will be there to witness it.

The kids continue to circle.  They clap to the beat of “Lean wit it Rock wit it.”  Black kids.  White kids.  A. plunges face first to the ground. 

“That’s it, he needs saving,” I declare.  I approach the group.  A humps the floor from his chest to his thighs and attempts the Worm.  His arms fail like a two-legged octopus.  His chin smacks the wooden floor on the down swing of his floor-maneuver.  I squeeze into the circle, amazed that these kids who once barely grazed my shoulders now tower over me.  The students around him clap and smile.  I honestly can’t believe it.

              I back off just a bit—calming my maternal instinct.  Eventually, A. curls up onto two feet and saunters right out of the circle.  Another song passes.  Then another.  And, through the dense smell of nachos and fizz of cold drinks, I watch him.  He doesn’t smile.  But, others do.  They are learning, as am I, that though he is strange, A. is just a little man who happens to like doing the Worm inside a circle at a school dance.

14 September 2008

I've Graduated...

There are three students in my Memoir course.  But I don't mind because I have graduated...
#  #  #
"You mean you haven't been planning your first-day-of-teaching-outfit for days?"  Charles was confused as he watched me leaf through my closet, debating my options and allowing my fingers to graze the textures of my fabrics: scratchy polyester, stiff denim, sturdy cotton.  

"No, I haven't been planning my outfit," I spouted back.  "Now help me decide: jeans or skirt?"  

"Just wear what you always wear around campus.  Just wear jeans."  As always, I appreciated Charles's participation in my self-indulgent debate.  And, as always, I listened.  Yet despite his opinion, I chose what I was always going to.  

"I'm going to wear this black skirt," I said. "I'm worried that they'll think I'm a lot younger than I am if I wear jeans."  
#  #  #
On Friday, I graduated to high school.  It was a nice change planning for my new students.  Instead of making glittery posters of our class rules and consequences, I printed off copies of my lengthy syllabus.  Instead of wondering when (because it's only a matter of time) someone would fall out of their chair, I wondered which colleges my new students would apply for.  And, instead of dry cleaning my one Ann Taylor pant suit, I mixed and matched the parts of my wardrobe that said "creative" and "grad student".

I'm a part-time high school teacher.  And I love it.  I brought cookies for us to share (read: I gave them sugar) and no one had a giggle attack or fell into a convenient sugar coma.  We read and wrote and they didn't raise their hands.  They don't call me Ms. anything - just my first name - and we're Facebook friends because when it comes right down to it, I could feasibly be their big sister.  

I've graduated to high school.  And I'm excited to see my students progress as I learn how to adapt my middle school ways to fill their pre-college, gifted noggins.
Stay tuned for more revelations regarding high school teaching...

09 September 2008


I posted a video of Anna West performing a poem a few days ago.  In light of Hurricane Gustav's effect on Baton Rouge (that has virtually gone unnoticed in the media), the NYTimes finally acknowledged Red Stick's less-than-bearable living conditions.  Anna West and her son are photographed reading with a flashlight...

Read the entire story here.

07 September 2008

7. Survive a Hurricane

August 2005  Ten days into my teaching career, the Superintendent phoned hundreds of households around the parish explaining that school would be delayed due to an incoming storm.  Students and teachers alike cheered.  Visions of hurricane parties and days that resembled summer break made us giddy.  A meteorologist's dream, Hurricane Katrina swirled through the Atlantic - a northerner's lore and figment of mythology.  I filled my bathtub with water.  My roommates unplugged the toaster, the television, the hairdryers.  We filled paper bags with the contents of our refrigerator.  And, I fled Baton Rouge, cursing my cell phone that failed to work and watched the cypress stumps take the ebbs and flows of the Atchafalaya Basin as I drove north, inland.

A week later, we returned - our yards filled with detached, homeless tree limbs, our classrooms filled with the limbs of children, still drying, still mending.  The faces of our students were weathered, but new to us.  While we waited for the phone call to announce school's resume, our new students waited on rooftops, on bridges, on patches of hot, black highway.

Then, after Rita, the walls of our school snaked the furry mold that grows in only the moistest of windowless buildings.  Again, we were home from school so that the mold could be scrubbed with bleach and the soggy poster boards peeled from the chipping beige walls.

August 2008  Seven days into my second year of graduate school, I watched meteorologists nearly wet themselves in excitement.  A three year hiatus, these men in rain slickers could once again use their favorite vocabulary words to describe Gustav: wrath, fury, devastation.  From Pittsburgh, I became an onlooker, an outsider.  I phoned friends who left town and returned only to sweat out their discomfort in salty beads and wait for the phone call that would announce their return to school.  New Orleans, this time having stood firmly against the gusts and pelts of rain, quickly faded from the meteorologists' lips.  South Louisiana, to the rest of us, was silenced and life resumed while children fanned themselves in the sticky heat of their Baton Rouge living rooms.

I sit in my air conditioning - comfortable, dry, and complete my homework for my classes that haven't been cancelled due to a hurricane.  I miss my students and almost can't believe the first group is now in high school and the second preparing for the LEAP.  I worry about their progress - whether their teachers challenge them or give them worksheets and lines when they've misbehaved.  I wonder how their homes fared.  If their, our, powerless school again snaked with mold only to be killed with the whitest, most potent bleach.  I'm reminded that they, without realizing, are triumphant despite the odds of hurricanes inside and outside of their classrooms.




04 September 2008

03 September 2008

6. When In Doubt, Choose C

In honor of Charles who will take the ACT for the second time tomorrow at the age of 27, I've scrounged up a piece of satire I once wrote in light of standardized testing...


Morning Announcements: Testing Week

…with LIBERTY and JUSTICE for all…

Thank you, Tynika, for reminding us why we live in the BEST country in the world: the US of A. (1)

Now, remember students: on Wednesday we’ll choose our student of the month for April who will take over leading our pledge.

Get caught being a Conscientious Cougar!!  (2)

BBBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Teachers, please disregard the bell and hold your homeroom students.  I have some extremely important information in regards to our upcoming TESTING WEEK.  Students, at this time you must remain SEATED and SILENT.  And, teachers, please write down the names of any students talking during this time and I will deal with them personally.  This information is too important to miss.  I’ll also be making copies (3) of this list and distributing them tomorrow in your mailboxes.  For your classroom warm-up each week, please review these items with your students.

Cougars, we have over a month of school left, but now is the time to buckle down and try your very best because next week, as you know, is TESTING WEEK: the most important week of the academic year (4).  8th graders – remember that if you score below a Basic, you will not be promoted to high school (5).  6th and 7th graders – the iLEAP is an indicator for how you will do in 8th grade (6).  It BEHOOVES you to do your very best!

We need to work together to remember these very important rules for our testing environment.  Listen up:

  1. NO CELL PHONES.  Students, cell phones aren’t allowed anyway and especially not this week.  We will take it away if we see one , so if you want to keep your cell phone safe, leave it at home! (7)
  1. EAT BREAKFAST!  Students, it is IMPERATIVE that you eat a good breakfast each morning of testing week – you need that brain food!  Teachers, we’re asking you to please call your homeroom students’ homes to remind their parents to feed them this week. (8)
  1. SCHOOL STARTS AT 7:50!  If you arrive each day of testing this week and on time, students, you’ll be eligible to win an ipod donated by Wal-Mart.  Don’t forget, students, school begins at 7:50. (9)

Now, students bear with me, I have just a few announcements for teachers only:

  1. Teachers, remember that lesson plans are STILL DUE for testing week and are due on Friday.  Please indicate the stress-free activities you have planned for your classes.  Remember, we want the only academic focus to be the test for this week. (10)
  1. Remember that I will be conducting “walk throughs” on Friday to check that your rooms are TEST SECURED.  Make sure all posters are taken down or covered up.  Not even one single letter may be visible.  Check with Ms. Bell in the art room if you need butcher paper. (11)
  1. WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES!  Teachers, during TESTING week you are NOT to sit down at your desk or on any chair of any kind.  State monitors will be walking in and out and documenting your actions.  You are to circulate the room at all times. (12)
  1. WEAR BRIGHT COLORS and DON’T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT!  Ms. Mary Kay was kind enough to bring forth this cutting-edge research that says bright colors help stimulate thinking in students and allow for better test achievement.  Ms. S will be coming in special on Sunday to set the thermostat to an even 70 degrees, the temperature Ms. Mary Kay also read helps students to concentrate. (13)
  1. Remember, teachers, to pick up your testing materials and number-two pencils before reporting to your classrooms each morning.  NEVER leave your testing materials alone or with someone else. (14)
  1. I will be issuing updated homeroom rolls by Thursday.  You are each responsible for calling each student’s home to walk the parents through the MUSTS for this week – they must eat and they must come to school.  Ms. Mary Kay in the front office has been working diligently to get in touch with those students who have not had regular attendance. (15)
  1. Friday we’ll be on an activity-schedule because we’re doing a dry run of testing week.  Since those students receiving testing accommodations may be confused as to where to report, we’ll run through it all a couple times if we have to. (16)

 

Okay, Cougars, it all comes down to this week.  Remember, achievement is 99% how hard you work and only 1% what you actually know.

 

Annotations:

  1. This “best” country in the world I speak of has an achievement gap as deep and wide as a threatening and deadly canyon.  Out of 13 million American children growing up in poverty, half will graduate from high school.  Poor third graders are three grade levels behind their affluent white peers.  Those poor kids who do make it to high school read at an 8th grade level.  And, one in ten of these poor kids will graduate from college.
  1. Approximately five students in the entire school have been taught the meaning of the word “conscientious” by their English teacher.  Hell, I don’t even know if I know the definition.
  1. IF the copy machine is working this week, I’ll gladly have Ms. Mary Kay in the front office copy these suckers for you – that’s her job, not mine.
  1. Literally.  This is the one week that our school will ensure that this school runs “properly” but damnit we WILL NOT get fined or cited.
  1. Louisiana state education policy prohibits a student who does not achieve a “Basic” overall score on his or her state test from high school promotion.  Approximately 40% of students in East Baton Rouge Parish fail it on the first try.  Statistics show that once a student is retained a grade, his or her chances of achieving a high school degree is halved. 
  1. Actually, we need strong 6th and 7th grade scores to boost our overall school score.  If the No Child Left Behind monitors notice that our score has dropped, we’ll lose funding.  Eventually, if we continue to decline, we’ll be taken over by the state or shut down entirely.
  1. When you arrive each day, we will pat you down and throw your things in a Wal-Mart shopping cart that we’ve borrowed for the week.  If you’re lucky, your parents will be allowed to sift through your things that have been dumped into a garbage sack and sit in a corner of the gymnasium AFTER testing week.  Hide your house key in your underwear.
  1. Since we will call your home and beg your mama, auntie, granny to feed you this week.  And, since we’ll also have breakfast available for everyone (not just for the free/reduced lunchers).  And, since we’ll force you to clean your styrofoam plate because we believe that food makes the mind work better.  And, since we only feed you crappy, processed foods…you will most likely get diarrhea and ask to use the restroom in the middle of the test.  But, because testing security is so tight, you won’t be allowed out of the room until each student is finished.  Therefore, please try not to shit your pants.
  1. For the first time all year, we will do everything possible to get you to school on time.  We’ll even reward you! 
  1. Lesson plans usually roll in sometime Monday or Tuesday of the week you are teaching these concepts.  We will demand these on the correct due date this week because the state is watching us very closely.  Please bring your own DVD player from home and show videos for your students after the test.  Rent these videos with your own money.  Just remember to take your DVD player with you whenever you leave your room (to use the bathroom, to eat lunch, etc.) because we will not replace it if it is stolen.
  1. I’m not joking about this.  Even cover up your computer keyboards (if you have one).  Not even a single letter may be visible to the students or the state testing security monitors will shut down your room as a testing site and then they will fine us money that we do not have. 
  1. I know you sit at your desk for 3/4ths of a regular day.  Well, get those orthopedics out, ladies.  If you’re caught sitting down during the test by a testing security monitor, I will personally add a letter to your permanent file.
  1. Put away those grays and tans!  Someone read somewhere once that bright colors stimulate thinking and a certain temperature will ensure excellent performance!  Your students will be so taken aback at your ridiculously bright outfit that it will take them twenty minutes to fill in the bubbles of their last name.  The temperature change will also distract them, and they’ll spend the entire test wondering why it isn’t freeeeezing or unbearably hot.  Wait, the AC will actually work (at a respectable temperature/at all) this week?
  1. If you need to take a shit, those tests better be on your lap as you sit on the toilet.  If I see them left by the sink and they get wet, I might fire you.
  1. Up until now, we don’t care about those students who have stopped coming to school or who show up once a week.  It doesn’t matter that they haven’t been learning all year.  What matters is that their completed test (of randomly bubbled letters) will earn us some points.  But, if they don’t show up at all, we receive a zero and our overall score will go down.  Remember to tell these students that this is the ONLY week they need to come to school everyday.  Tell them we won’t bother them again until next year at this time.
  1. This is one week in which the special education students will actually receive appropriate accommodations/modifications.  This foreign small group setting and the sound of a teacher actually reading the questions aloud will confuse the hell out of them.  These accommodations (required by law) are supposed to help these students achieve like the “regular” kids, but this new, strange format will only throw them off.