Black and Gold to the Rescue

Photo from this NYTimes article

The Super Bowl is 48 hours away. Pittsburgh is wetting itself. Sure, I've known a die-hard Colts fan or two in my life. I've lived in a state that claimed the New Orleans Saints (and then started calling them the Aints after too many disappointing seasons). My father was given the opportunity to go pro after college football if he agreed to gain 70+ pounds. (My dad's metabolism just doesn't work that way). So, I'm not totally out of sync with all-matters-football. But I have never experienced the sheer mania that comes along with living in Steelers Country. 

I'm often annoyed with this city's team spirit. Not only was Charles practically threatened to be beaten up by a robust female co-worker if he didn't wear the team's colors to work the Friday before the playoffs, Pittsburgh Public Schools will be delayed two hours on Monday, Feb. 2. The website notice prefaces this upcoming delay with, "For the safety of our students..." when it should read, "Because our teachers may be too hungover from game festivities to get to work on time and because we can't have teachers vomiting on their pupils..." You know a city's football culture is big when the superintendent, using hindsight as her guide, proactively cuts the school's hours the Monday after the big game - win or no win.

I'm tired of the bee-colored scarves, loud bumper stickers, matching stocking caps. I loath the yellow jerseys, yellow yard flags, yellow towels. (I'll probably get in trouble for saying yellow instead of gold.) But that loathing was before today, before I found out that the Steelers' mustardy gold "Terrible Towel" actually serves a purpose.

Fans can't get enough of these towels. They hang limply on cubicle walls. They are fashioned to windows and lockers and rear ends. Mostly, they can be found within a tightly gripped fist swinging round and round like a lasso. I'm fairly certain the Terrible Towel does everything except dry or wipe things down. 

But, that's okay. These towels are providing tens of thousands of dollars each month to Allegheny Valley School, a nonprofit system of group homes across the state that provide programs and residences to people (10-90 year olds) with severe developmental and intellectual disabilities. Economic crisis or not, AVS runs strong thanks to late Myron Cope (longtime Pittsburgh broadcaster), who invented the towel in 1975 and handed over the towel's trademark in 1996. Thus, virtually all proceeds from towel sales go directly to AVS, who pledged to use the money to assist residents, rather than fund construction projects. Cope's decision was personal: his 41 year old son Danny has resided at AVS since he was 2. 

With the Super Bowl comes the opportunity to sell ridiculous amounts of Terrible Towels, and a Steelers victory is projected to produce 500,000 orders from fans - meaning a hefty check to continue supporting Allegheny Valley School. 

I am not one to purchase sports paraphernalia of any kind. Count me out for jerseys, jackets and hats. But I may just buy a Terrible Towel - at least I'd know it has a story and a purpose. And maybe I'd inch a little closer to welcoming this football-crazed town as my home.